At some point during our gaming life; we have all experienced a few games that brought out the inner-gaming-junky that’s locked away, begging to be released. One game, or perhaps more than one, that begs us with a hushed, seductive and erotic voice begging for more playtime, causing us to give in and continue playing till early the next morning. Some of us regret it, being over-strained and being as productive as the revolutionary Water-Patented Toaster™. The other gamers will walk around with a smile, stretching from one ear to the next, having little difficulty coping with the everyday tasks before them. These prolonged gaming sessions sometimes have tantalizing results. Giving said gamer some awesome, yet unrealistic ideas. Some of which I can vouch for due to my own personal experience. Let’s examine these, shall we?
Gaming Calamity #7:
Minecraft has been known to cause more than a few people bad grades or just possessing countless hours of the gamer’s life. Building a home with virtual blood and sweat to perfection and surviving the many monster-hordes of the night has proven to be an addiction on its own. This had me noticing allthe block-like shapes around me. The floors, the many signs along road, the various packaging inside the shops and in all honesty, even other squares and blocks had me sitting up straight. Perhaps it’s for the best that I took a break from the game, because I don’t think the shopkeepers and homeowners would appreciate the plans my pickaxe I had for their estate.
Gaming Calamity #6:
We all know the discouraging feeling of not being able to find something. Not even knowing if it’s in the immediate vicinity. Perhaps you forgot it at the counter when you paid for your shopping the previous day? For you shoplifters, this doesn’t include you, you can search the dressing room or the aisle where you stole the goods. After playing a lot of Batman Arkham Asylum or Arkham City, you just wish you could tap the correct button for Detective Mode and the aforementioned item will be displayed in orange while the rest of the world that is not currently being searched for, displays in blue. It’s a billion dollar idea. Someone, please make it happen!
Gaming Calamity #5:
After speaking with countless people regarding this matter, I have confirmed that I was not the only person experiencing these treacherous symptoms after playing a lot of Assassin’s Creed (it was only two people). This counts for all the Assassin’s Creed titles, not just one. I think I overdid the time I spent with Assassin’s Creed, I really do. What’s causing me to say this? Well, I was walking down the street and in the corner of my eye, I saw a pretty little thing approaching me. Sorry, wrong game. As I made my way through the world I began examining real buildings for the best way to climb them. What would be the best way to climb it and if I needed an upgrade to reach certain places. 100% true, I guarantee it.
Gaming Calamity #4:
Have you ever found yourself looking at a window thinking; it would be cool to jump through it sideways in slow motion and shoot 3 guys in the head with perfect aim? I can vouch for myself and Marko when saying this, we thought about it more than once. Perhaps not just windows, we don’t always suffer from masochistic tendencies that involves a lot of sharp glass edges, but also jumping around corners if we feel that danger is lurking around it and we feel the need to shoot muggers. We both loved Max Payne 3 and we only need to develop a desperate need for painkillers and shave our heads.
Gaming Calamity #3:
As with all these examples I think it’s safe to say that I may have played a bit too much Red Dead Redemption continuously when I suggest the following. Scenario: Calmly driving on the safe roads of South Africa whilst vacating all thoughts of anger and suicide on your way to work (yes, that’s a paradox). While driving, you notice something inside your peripheral vision; be it a harmless little bird or deer just passing by, you immediately feel the need to push the right stick on your controller and activate your bad-ass John Marston Dead Eye ability. With the appropriate places marked, you initiate by pulling the trigger and watch all the red pixels flying. Or in the case, people in traffic not driving the way they’re supposed to, having their heads emptied of all grey matter and all pedestrians are devoid of their kneecaps.
Gaming Calamity #2:
When Gears of War 3 came out, I distinctly remember a lot of my gaming time going into that game. Playing through the campaign more than once, grinding a lot of Horde 2.0, because it’s awesome and I was just having a blast. This of course could not be allowed without the tiniest of consequences. Plain and simple, whenever I got hurt, be it me not looking where I’m walking and having my left hip impaled by the kitchen counter or just misjudging the distance between the nearest wall and my face, I would see the Crimson Omen getting brighter. After a quick cup of tea and a little nap the Crimson Omen would eventually go away.
Gaming Calamity #1:
As the zombie apocalypse approaches us; I think we should have a healthy debate concerning this. I don’t see how I’m able to form a sentence containing both “healthy” and “zombies”, but I did. Let’s imagine everything turning into excrement and the whole world turns into Hell. Zombies running around and whatnot. My one wish concerning the upcoming zombie apocalypse would be this: Be it a cut, a shot in the head or my car’s tire causing damage, please let the wound produce little pink hearts, rainbows and lots of bright colors. I want my zombie apocalypse with an extra scoop of Lollipop Chainsaw.
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